An Unhustled Way to Travel

I used to come home from vacations needing another vacation just to recover. Somewhere along the way, I discovered there was another way. 

I Thought Vacations Were Supposed to be Exhausting 

I've always loved to travel.

About once a year, I would head to New York City for a long weekend with one of my best friends. Every year, another group of girlfriends and I would make our way to New Orleans. For several summers, the Dominican Republic became our happy place.

The funny thing is... I wasn't much of an adventurous traveler.

I loved places I already knew.

I loved restaurants where I already knew what to order.

I loved vacations where I could picture the trip before I even packed my suitcase.

There was comfort in familiarity.

These vacations were always a blast, but they always had one thing in common - I would return home from my trip and I would need a vacation to recover from my vacation.

Vacations meant abandoning workout routines.

Vacations meant abandoning sleep.

Vacations meant trying to squeeze every possible experience into every waking hour.

Vacations meant promising myself I'd get back on track when I got home.

Vacations meant eating everything because "I'm on vacation."

At the risk of getting too TMI, I've always been a fiber girlie. Vacation Amanda, however, preferred French fries and wine —which, unsurprisingly, doesn't possess quite the same magical regulatory powers.

I often came home from trips wishing I could poop, feeling fluffy from alcohol and poor food choices, sleep deprived, and borderline cranky that I had to return to the real world.

At some point, I began realizing that I didn’t exactly enjoy coming home from vacations like that. I didn’t actually want a vacation that I needed to recover from. But I had no idea that there was another option. I thought that’s what vacations were supposed to be.

One Slow Morning Changed Everything

Then I met my husband.  

 
He comes from a family that truly loves to travel. They've seen more of the world than anyone I'd ever known, but somehow they never seemed to be in a hurry while doing it. 

Our first trip together was to New York City for a long weekend, about four months after we started dating. Our first morning in the city, I fully expected to wake up and hit the ground running. I needed to shower and get dressed, so we could go hit up a breakfast joint for energy to make it through miles of walking and sightseeing. I had an entire itinerary in my brain.  

But he surprised me. He brought breakfast back to the condo where we were staying, and he brewed a pot of coffee right there in the kitchen. We sat on the couch in the condo and enjoyed the most amazing breakfast, sipping on coffee, and staring out at the Manhattan skyline until we were (get ready for it) ready to venture out.  

 
A slow morning? On vacation?  

It was unheard of.  

It was.... glorious.  

I Stopped Leaving Myself at Home

That morning quietly changed the way I traveled. 

At first, it didn't seem like much. 

It was just breakfast. 

Just coffee. 

Just a skyline. 

But somewhere between that second cup of coffee and finally walking out the door, I realized something I had never questioned before. 

I didn't have to squeeze every drop out of a vacation for it to be worthwhile. Rest wasn't stealing time from the trip. It was becoming part of the trip. 

One of the biggest shifts was realizing I didn't have to leave the parts of myself that made me feel good at home. 

I am a morning coffee girl. My teenage sons will tell you that our household rule has always been that big conversations and chaos don’t begin in our house until I’ve had my coffee. And I drink my coffee the same way every day – collagen, steamed milk, and a pinch of salt. So I began bringing my coffee with me. Not in a coffee pot, obviously, but in travel collagen packets, in a milk steamer, in mini salt packets. I even started bringing packets of MiraLax with me, because let’s be honest, the older we get, the more travel can disrupt our bodily functions.  

I realized early on that hours on a plane often made my skin feel dehydrated.  I started bringing my electrolyte packets to put in my water, because I just felt better when I was hydrated. My skin looked better when I was hydrated. And at some point, I realized that I wasn't trying to optimize my vacation anymore. I was simply trying to take good care of the person who was having it. 

The Routines I Started Packing

Morning walks stopped being something I sacrificed for vacation. 

They became one of my favorite ways to experience a new place. 

Before the crowds. 

Before the itinerary. 

Before the day began asking anything of me. 

I spent years assuming vacations meant abandoning the rhythms that made me feel good. 

Now I realize the rhythms are part of what allow me to enjoy the vacation in the first place. 

Over the years, I have just realized that I feel better when I maintain my sleep schedule. My body has been trained, over 23 years of education, to wake up fairly early, so it’s not unusual for my eyes to open wide at 6:00 AM, even on vacation. It also means that I’m tired and ready for sleep by 8:30 or 9:00 PM.  Once I realized that I didn’t have to abandon this for a vacation, it felt like the greatest epiphany ever.  

Don’t get me wrong – if there’s a reason to stay up late, I am all for it. Later this month, I’m visiting Las Vegas for a girls’ trip and we are seeing the Backstreet Boys in concert. The night of the concert, no part of me will be ready for sleep until I am all sung out. But for the most part, I have really embraced keeping my sleep schedule the same.  

I Didn't Want to Escape My Life Anymore

Years ago, I thought vacations were about escaping my real life. 

Somewhere along the way, I realized something surprising. 

I don't actually want to escape my life anymore. 

I like my morning coffee. 

I like my walks. 

I like feeling rested. 

I like taking care of myself. 

Why would I leave all of that behind simply because my view changed?

For years, I thought the goal of vacation was to become someone different for a week. 

Someone who stayed up later. 

Ate differently. 

Ignored her routines. 

Pushed a little harder. 

Saw a little more. 

But somewhere between a quiet breakfast overlooking Manhattan and countless slow mornings since then, I realized something. 

The best trips aren't the ones where I escape my life. 

They're the ones where I get to bring the life I've worked so hard to build into a beautiful new place. 

The Trips That Still Stretch Me

Have I completely stopped needing recovery after every single trip? Definitely not.  

 
Traveling with teenagers still asks more of my nervous system than traveling with just my husband. Traveling with extended family – or anyone who changes the natural rhythms of your days – requires more.  

 
There are more decisions to be made. More unpredictability. More moments of being “on.”  

And my body notices that. 

During those trips, I find it’s extra important to rely on the parts of my life that bring me extra joy. My slow mornings with coffee on a balcony become extra important during these trips . My morning walks in the sunshine carry even more weight. Giving myself time to rest and sleep is even more critical. Giving myself grace and self-compassion allows for more breathing room.  

Because maybe an unhustled way to travel isn't about seeing more. 

Maybe it's about bringing more of yourself with you.  

One thing I’ve learned over the last few years is that this isn’t really about coffee, electrolytes, or morning walks. Some people genuinely come alive with packed itineraries, late nights, and trying every new restaurant they can find. For them, that may be exactly what a nourishing vacation looks like.  

 
The point isn’t to vacation exactly as I do. The point is to notice what helps you feel like yourself.   

Maybe that’s slow mornings on a hotel balcony. Maybe it’s staying up past midnight, talking and laughing with friends. Maybe it’s hiking every trail in the national park. Maybe it’s wandering a new city with no destination in mind.  

An unhustled life isn’t about copying someone else’s rhythms or likes. It’s about learning your own – and finding the courage to bring them with you.  

And maybe that is true of more than just travel.  

Maybe the goal isn’t to become someone different every time our circumstances change.  

Maybe it’s to build a life that feels so much like home that we can carry it with us – whether we are sitting at our own kitchen table or watching the sunrise from a hotel balcony halfway across the country.